Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Gift Suggestions For the Hard-To-Please...

...Which doesn't include me since I'm easy and I'm cheap. Besides, I've already posted my Christmas List; what follows are suggestions you may find useful in dealing with those difficult-to-buy-for people I just know are lurking on your list.

--Knightmare Chess and Knightmare Chess, Set 2
Tired of being beaten by that coffee shop chess hustler? You need Knightmare Chess from Steve Jackson Games, a gaming system (basically, a set of cards) which modifies the rules of chess in unexpected and unpredictable ways while you play. As far as I'm concerned, this makes the game a hell of a lot more interesting and far less humiliating when faced with a player of superior talent. You can even purchase blank cards and make your own rules, which, I'm certain, can lend itself to a certain amount of... uh... abuse.

--Dancing Robots
Cute! Kinetic! Perfect for home or work! Two for $4.95! Who could resist?

--Periscopes? Periscopes? Periscopes!
Gotta have a periscope if ya wanna be prepared! Surely you know someone who would delight in spying on the neighbors, the kids, co-workers, or whomever. Perfect for your eccentric friend with the survival bunker in his backyard.

--UFO Detector and UFO-2 Detector
If you'd rather not hear about alien abductions, missing time, and anal probing during the New Year, then you need to take steps to protect your family and friends. These devices supposedly sense electromagnetic disturbances in the Force (or something), then give off warning beeps and flashes which, I guess, allows you enough time to don your tin-foil hat and lead chastity belt. Batteries not included.

--Interactive LED Dining Table
Got Futurist Hipsters or demented tabletop gamers on your list? Get 'em these! Minimalist tables with frosted glass tops covering a buttload of colored LEDs that respond gently to motion.

It's a small, easily concealable universal television remote that allows you to turn a TV on or off. Doesn't do a damn thing more. "Why on earth would anyone want such a thing?" I can hear you asking. Well, how many times have you been in an airport, bar, restaurant, laundromat, or wherever and been forced to listen to a television that was just... there... as nothing more than a source of annoying background noise. Manage your environment! You can even hack one into an Ultra TV-B-Gone.


Madame Alexis said...

Interactive LED Dining Table is the one I like best.

Darling if you were easy you'd be here!

G. W. Ferguson said...

If I were ever to own a yurt (which I believe to be the coolest of all semi-permanent structures) I'd want a nice selection of periscopes, but the LED table is a thing of beauty!

G. W. Ferguson said...

Oh, and maybe a better question is why aren't you here performing the Krampus Dance for me? I'll let you play with my shortwave...