Aw, man! I missed the first Bread & Milk Party of the season at Ukrops today!
For those who don't know, this is a game that I believe is mandated by local ordinance: at the first sight of snow flurries all residents must report to their local grocery store (Ukrops being traditional and the cult fave in these parts) and compete against one another so as to empty the shelves of bread, milk, tomato soup, and crackers before the IMPENDING HORRIBLE SNOW APOCALYPSE!!! generates DOOM!, STARVATION!, CANNIBALISM!, YETI ATTACKS!, and a shortage of Wheat Thins and Easy Cheese. Participants must wear a panicked expression at all times and speak only of current weather conditions, else points will be deducted.
It's a hoot and I missed it.
Remember, I live in Virginia where the average annual snowfall is something like, what? Two inches? Three? Yet the crowds act as if they were laying in supplies for an entire Antarctic winter every single time it snows!
I'll refrain from ranting about Richmond drivers and snow showers.
Anyway, the precipitation stopped in the early afternoon and if there'd been any accumulation whatsoever it was gone by the time I left work at 4:30 p. m.
In other news, Boing Boing reports a Christmas Tree decorated with 99 handmade felt octopi. I don't do any Christmas decorating myself, though I enjoy what other people do, but I dunno... this is something I could get behind. Then again, there's this kitty living here who assumes all things soft are meant for ripping.
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Trapped On The Planet Of Hairless Apes
About Me
- G. W. Ferguson
- Culpeper, Virginia, United States
- Middle-aged Otaku, that is, a "pathological techno-fetishist with social deficit" (Gibson, 1996), in constant search of amusement and his next Aspergerian perseveration.
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3 comments:
Bread and milk and BEER! You forgot the BEER!
Seriously, I was stuck on the tarmac in White Plains, NY yesterday for two plus hours waiting for clearance to land at O'Hare--they had been backed up by the snowstorm Chi-town had on Tuesday. Now they are threatening two to four more inches, to start, well, right about...NOW!
Oh joy. I just hate having to dig the damned car out. I wish I could be a kid again and ENJOY the snow! (Plus, they NEVER give us snow days, although they do sometimes let us out early... only to have to crawl home during the worst of the storm.) Bah! Humbug!
Oh, yeah...BEER! But, you see, the local Ukrops is owned by Kooky Kristians and they don't sell beer or wine and they seem to be a little leery of vanilla extract.
I do miss the 'boro when it got a foot or more of snow AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS PLAY IN IT! Snow shovels were for building snow forts and NOT for risking heart attacks by clearing the sidewalks.
And I miss the clank-clank-clank of tire chains.
Ah, tire chains!
And, in addition to the clank, the string of naughty words that emanated from the mouths of fathers everywhere as they tried to put them on!
An aside: Back in '93, I flew to Phoenix in November and rented a car to drive to the Grand Canyon, with an overnight stop in Flagstaff. But snow was predicted for Flagstaff that night (I arrived in late afternoon), so I asked the rental agent if the car would be okay in the snow (figuring that they don't get a whole lot of snow in Phoenix...). "Oh yeah," he said. "All you have to do is pull into a service station, buy some chains, and have the guy put them on for you."
Huh????!!!!
As it happened, I did run into snow right as I entered Flagstaff, but I didn't bother with the chains. It was fine.
It just seemed so... retro!
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