Happy Birthday To Me!

Yeah, I had a birthday a couple of days ago. No big deal--56 going on 16 if you're really interested--and not a particularly eventful day, though I did get a couple of unexpected birthday cards, one from my aunt in Albuquerque (where you're supposed to turn left) and one from my Uncle John in Hagerstown, MD (Uncle John is the "Porter" in those Lionel-Porter chemistry sets so popular amongst budding mad scientists in the early '60s).

My mother, unfortunately, is in no state to remember my birthday (due to "advancing senile dementia of the Alzheimer's type"), so the one person who was most likely to send me a card or gift is no longer capable of doing so. That's okay, though; I got lots of birthday wishes via Facebook and one singular present from me to me:

That's a Smith & Wesson* H. R. T. (for "Hostage Rescue Team") out-the-front spring-assisted knife (not a switchblade, technically speaking) with 3" blade.**

I have no earthly reason for owning one; in fact, since I wouldn't dare carry it outside the house, its primary purpose is as a glorified letter/package opener...

A letter opener that looks way-cool and goes "shhhhh-CHING!" with a little, slightly awkward, manipulation.

But it's great fun to play with, though the cat becomes a little concerned when I stalk around the living room with the day's mail saying, "Why? So? SERIOUS?"

Hey, I'm an easily amused 16-yr.-old trapped in a middle-aged body.


*It's actually manufactured by Taylor Brands LLC; they merely licensed the S & W name.

**Interesting note: in Virginia, where I live, it is not technically illegal to own a switchblade; however, it is illegal to sell, trade, or barter one and, in a classic example of Catch-22, possession is considered to be prima facie evidence of intent to sell.