Monday, March 31, 2008

No April Foolery Here!

I've been gently chided for not updating in ever-so-long* and though I could give the usual list of non-blogging excuses, let's not do that and just dive right in, shall we?

I'm over my Close Encounter of the Bacterial Kind; all that's left is for me to get off my fat ass, head back to Patient First, and get a third and final chest x-ray** so they can close out their files. Incidentally, should you ever have the opportunity to experience pneumonia, my advice is JUST SAY NO! It is the very definition of Suck-O-Rama.

And speaking of Suck-O-Rama, my poor father just got out of a four-week stay at the hospital for (wait for it!) pneumonia (which, in case you were wondering, was entirely independent of my bout). Now, remember that both my parents are in the Assisted Living facility of a retirement home in Waynesboro, VA; remember, too, that they both have diagnoses of "senile dementia of the Alzheimer's type" (a hedge in that Alzheimer's can be definitively diagnosed only at autopsy). Dad had been in for two weeks before I knew anything about it--Mom hadn't contacted me because (1) she's always confused and in her head this had just happened that very day (and had just happened that very day every day thereafter for four weeks) and (2) Dad has my phone number on speed dial and speed dial is a bit beyond Mom's ability to comprehend***. Dad hadn't contacted me because (1) he has my number on speed dial and so doesn't know it, (2) he's always very confused and finds the hospital voice menus he has to wade through to get my number from 411 totally bewildering, and (3) he didn't have his glasses (nor his teeth) anyway.

He's okay now, as okay as an 87-yr. old man with a degenerative brain disease can be, but he's in no physical discomfort as far as I can tell. I'll go see them Sunday and make my own assessment.

As for me, I'm still going to Super-Secret Support Group meetings, still working through my (ever-expanding) pile of unread books, still seeking out Links O' Interest on the Intarwebs, still feeding Sid-the-Cat, still pondering the Great Mysteries of the Universe, still leading my quiet little life.

"Once again, the world (is) spinning in greased grooves."

And I lied. There is some April Foolery here: The Top 100 April Fool's Day Hoaxes of All Time.

* I'm looking at you, Madame Alexis!

** A little side note here: when I finally went to Patient First they kinda, sorta, rushed me into their x-ray room, slapped me up against the film holder, and did their thing with all expediency, probably because they figured the sooner they got me treated and out of there the slimmer the possibility of their having to wheel me out of there. Ambulances showing up at an HMO to take people away tend to erode patient confidence. During my follow-up x-ray they went about their business a little more leisurely, swaddling my nether regions in a non-form-fitting and completely unflattering lead diaper. I had to laugh; at my age the last thing I'm worried about is mutant sperm.

*** These days lots of things are beyond my mother's ability to comprehend. At one point while Dad was in the hospital she was complaining that though the hotel room she was in was very nice, she was ready to go home. You've probably guessed it wasn't a hotel room but her own apartment.


Anonymous said...

You know I adore you my dear so I had to know you were OK.

I am glad you are.

Madame Alexis

G. W. Ferguson said...

Old geeks never die; they're merely transferred to new formats.

Cathy VanPatten said...

So glad you are feeling better--I, of course, have caught the cold Jeff brought back with him from Boston. Two in one year!! NO!! That's the last time I brag about not having suffered a cold for 2+ years!

So sorry to hear about your dad and mom--what a drag it is, getting old. Glad your dad is better, though. I'm sure they won't remember me, but in case they do, tell them I wish them well.