Thursday, August 23, 2007

High School Internet Meme

Because I woke up when the cat jumped on the bed, because I can't get back to sleep, because I didn't feel like using the time productively.

I'm blaming Sarah for this. You can, too!

"Everybody's doing it!"

Fill this out about your SENIOR year of high school! The longer ago it was, the more fun the answers will be.

1. Who was your best friend?
Probably fellow monster movie/horror fan/Super-8 filmmaker Sam Moyer.

2. What sports did you play?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I had all the eye/hand coordination of a drunken, epileptic, nearsighted hippopotamus.

3. What kind of car did you drive?
Sometimes Dad allowed me to borrow his 1953 faded-green Buick, but mostly I caught rides with other people.

4. Friday nights where did ya go?
Movies, mostly. The Wayne Theater in Waynesboro, the Dixie, the Visualite, or the Staunton Plaza Center For Shopping in (duh!) Staunton for first-run movies; the North 340 Drive-In or Skyline Drive-In for second-run horror films and trash cinema. Occasionally we'd cruise the Blue Ridge Parkway overlooks with spotlights and embarrass all the couples getting drunk and making out. Once in a while a group of us would zip on over to a local apartment complex (Brandon-Ladd) and "decorate" their half-sized, tacky, be-fig-leafed reproduction of Michelangelo's "David."

5. Were you a party animal?
That came later. In high school I occasionally drank alone late at night while watching horror movies and classic comedies (Marx Bros., W. C. Fields) on television after my parents went to bed.

7. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir?
Nope. I'd been in chorus 7th-9th grade but dropped it in high school to take French and Latin. Probably just as well--I've got maybe a half-octave range.

8. Were you a nerd?
More a geek than a nerd. I was science-crazed, played chess, read shitloads of books, but was capable of basic functioning in social situations for brief periods of time. Teachers loved me (unless I decided to prove 'em wrong about something, which was a frequent occurrence); most fellow students thought I was strange.

9. Did you get suspended/expelled?
Nope. I was, to all outward appearances, a pretty good kid. When your mother is part of the local school system, you can't get away with much.

10. Can you sing the fight song?
We didn't have a fight song, but we did have a school song: "In the hills of old Virginia in the lovely Shenandoah/There's a school that reigns supremely, each year we love it more/The skies are bright, the sun shines, the spirit of love is there/There's strength and hope and courage and friends who do and dare/Dear Waynesboro High School, as time goes on/We'll e're be faithful, daughters and sons/We'll float your colors only where there's right/We'll keep your banner spotless and bright." It's so fuckin' scary that a part of my brain retains this crap. And, yes, I can sing it, but you really don't want me to (see 7).

11. Who were your favorite teachers?
Oh, my. There was Howard "Dog" Claiborne (English Lit) and Connie ("Quote, Unquote") Fletcher (Advanced Biology).

12. Where did you sit during lunch?
Usually in the high school auditorium sound & projection booth listening to subversive rock 'n' roll.

13.What was your school's full name?
Waynesboro High School. That's it. Nothing fancy.

14. School mascot?
I don't recall that we actually had one. Our football team was called "The Little Giants" and we had a cartoon logo for them, but no actual mascot.

15. Did you go to Prom?
Nah, I spent my Senior Prom at the other end of the building running sound and lights for some geeky-ass folk singer/storyteller.

16. If you could go back and do it over, would you?
Oh, FUCK no! No way in HELL! I had a few memorable moments, but for the most part I was pretty miserable.

17. What do you remember most about graduation?
This homeless hippie couple I'd met in the city park were hanging out near where we were lining up for graduation, recognized me, and gave me a few surreptitious hits off a joint packed with some REALLY STRONG weed. I didn't so much walk up to receive my diploma as I floated.

18. What was your fave class?
Hmmm...that's a toss-up between English Lit and Government (it was so much fun learning about the Constitution while Nixon was enmeshed in the Watergate hearings!).

19. Where were you on senior skip day?
Doing inventory in the parts room of the store where my father worked.

20. Did you have a job your senior year?
Yep, at Freed Company, which sold appliances, motorcycles, tires, parts, and all kinds of miscellaneous junk consumer goods.

21. Where did you go most often for lunch?
See 12 & 28.

22. Have you gained weight since then?
I weighed about 150 lbs. soaking wet my senior year. Yeah, I gained weight...lots...damn it.

23. What did you do after graduation?
Walked home and seriously considered suicide.

24. When did you graduate?
June, 1973.

25. Who was your Senior prom date?
Skipped the prom because (1, see 15) I was working a show in the auditorium and (2), who the HELL was going to go to prom with me?

26. Are you going to your 10 year reunion?
Missed it in 1983 because I was in a treatment facility for alcoholism and drug addiction. From all reports it's a good thing I did--apparently most of my classmates reverted to the assholes they were in high school. I did attend my 20th and had lots of fun scaring my classmates by flirting with their daughters.

28. What was your favorite thing to eat at lunch?
Lunch? Who ate lunch? I was hanging out in the high school auditorium sound booth listening to Alice Cooper, Steppenwolf, and Black Sabbath!

29. Who was your boy/girlfriend?
Ya know, I never dated in high school (I've never been what anyone would call "dating material"), but I had a SLEW of crushes--Diana Taylor, Leslie Snyder (now Prof. of Communications at UConn), Cyndi Breithaupt (now the wife of a former gubernatorial candidate), Debbie Draper, Debbie Clay (later 1st female CEO of a public utility company), Ruth Flory, Judy Wakefield, Cindy Hawkins, Denise Hunt (whose younger brother was named, unfortunately, Michael)--oh, the list goes on and on...

Much later I actually went out with Debbie Draper, Judy Wakefield, Denise Hunt, Leslie Snyder, and Cindy Hawkins.

30. What was your favorite memory your senior year?
The discovery that 500 ml. of diethyl ether had a lovely euphoric effect and could easily wipe out any unpleasant memories for a little while. That, and how nice certain classmates looked in little red halter tops and skimpy denim shorts.

31. Did you like how you looked in your senior picture?
Yeah, it was okay! Wish I looked like that now. Today it's nowhere NEAR as embarrassing as those of my male classmates. White boys with big-ass Afros or greasy, shoulder-length hair...gimme a break!

32. Who will repost this after you?
What, did we suddenly return to high school? Does this look like MySpace?

33. How have you changed since high school?
At the most fundamental level, not at all. I've read a lot more books, I know a lot more...stuff...and have done a lot more...interesting...things (shit, I've even had sex!), but my mind works in pretty much the same way now as it did then. I'm more cynical, less social, and no longer wear bell bottoms that drag the floor. I'm much more likely to say whateverthehell is on my mind at any given moment without worrying about how stupid I might sound and I now revel in my own geekiness.


Cathy VanPatten said...

Hey!! I would have gone to the prom with you... fellow dateless YFOTG and all.

And you did have a superlative senior yearbook picture. Mine is just awful. I look so sour. At least I could have smiled or something!

G. W. Ferguson said...

So many of the women in our class had that "gazing-intently-into-the-future-not-the-camera" pose that I'm wondering if the photographer dosed y'all with Rohypnol.

Cathy VanPatten said...

Actually, the best shot the photographer made of me was one of those over the shoulder shots, where I AM smiling, a bit, and where I don't look like I have jowls. My dad loved that shot, and ordered an 8x10 of it. I figure it's still somewhere in the house (nothing ever leaves that house!). The problem with selecting that one for the yearbook? Barb and I had made WAY too much fun of previous senior portraits of the over the shoulder variety.

Ah, foolish youth!

Elizabeth Massie said...

Lee..I'm proud of you for knowing the WHS song! Our class sang it last fall at our (extended) 35th reunion while in the stands at the Homecoming football game. I think we were the only people in attendance who knew it. We got looked at by the cheerleaders as if they wanted to kick us out for being disruptive!

Yee hah!


G. W. Ferguson said...

Well, thanks, but I can't take credit for the GOBS of trivia cluttering my head! Singing the School Song at each and every assembly for three years certainly tied up a few neurons permanently.